Stress Relief
by XMidnightXWerewolfX
Summary: When Switzerland finds himself stressed he heads to the only place that always clears his head, only to find it just makes things worse. Then as he finds a friend they make it their duty to relieve the stress Switzerland is going through, but how will that turn out? SwissHun Oneshot


_BANG!_

Yet another shot from Basch at the shooting range as he pulled his gun back up, using the binoculars to inspect the area he shot. He cursed to himself as he saw no hole in the target whatsoever, tossing his binoculars to the side and setting his gun against the wall. He took a deep breath through his nose and ran his hands through his hair, he had only made half his shots all day and the ones he did make were pathetic.

It wasn't just the shooting range, he'd burnt this morning's breakfast, practically twisted his ankle when he went for his daily jog, and a bird crapped on him while he was going through town. That wasn't his fault, but it pissed him off enough to punch a nearby brick wall and mess up his hand, and that's what drove him to the shooting range. It was the only place he seemed to be able to calm down under normal circumstances, but all this was doing was stressing him out more.

Behind him, Basch heard a few footsteps and a feminine voice call out to him from the next standing position. "You look more stressed than usual Basch," and as he turned to look it was Elizaveta, holding a Remington 870 Marine Shotgun in her arms, it seemed almost natural in her arms, a perfect replacement for the pan she used under usual circumstances. She adjusted the controls for her clay pigeon launcher to the effective range of the shotgun as she smiled over at him "I thought guns relaxed you."

Basch sighed, he knew Elizaveta quite well from all the time she and Lili had spent together, and of course the time he had spent making sure he was alright with her being around his sister-since he hadn't spoken with her much beforehand. He could be overprotective at times yes, but it was worth it to make sure she didn't have any bad influences around her. Though from what he did learn about her, he was not only alright with her being around Lili, he wanted her around his sister, she could protect her as much as he could.

They'd actually been meeting up at the shooting range for the past few months, Basch would come and either find her here or she would arrive sometime later for most of the times he'd come. He didn't complain of course, it was nice to talk to another country that wasn't obsessed with breasts, burgers, or bombs. They had bonded over Lili first of course, then their love for weaponry, similar times they've had, and then they started telling stories and talking about their days and they had struck up a strong friendship with one another.

"Yes, I thought they did too, then this happened," he brought his fingers up to pinch the bridge of his nose, trying to quell his headache that was already starting from his failure at what he loved the most. He had no idea why he couldn't even hit the target anymore, he had always been able to hit his target, but it felt like something was throwing him off, forcing him to miss. For now he saw down, rubbing his temples as he tried to calm himself.

As he heard her fire off a series of rounds he stayed quiet, closing his eyes and listening to the resounding bang as each one was released, hearing her shout "Pull!" in between each shot. Then he heard the cracking of the clay and sighed irritably, he couldn't believe she was hitting clay pigeons with a shotgun at maximum range and he couldn't even get a headshot with a sniper as close as he could get the target without being able to shoot it with a normal rifle.

He suddenly felt a kind hand on his shoulder and as he opened his eyes again he looked back to Elizaveta, who was kneeling down just enough to rub his shoulder and smile down at him softly. "You shouldn't stress yourself out so much, you need to relax more," and while she definitely wasn't a Swedish Masseuse, the way her hand touched his shoulder definitely relaxed him enough to let his shoulders drop a little and his headache slowly faded away.

Though when he actually heard her words he shook his head "I don't know what you mean, I don't stress myself out that much…." He lied. He knew he stressed himself out, but he needed to work as hard as he could to keep his country safe from his larger and powerful neighbors. Then he had to take care of Liechtenstein all the time, work on diplomacy between nations, work on his own diplomacy, train constantly, shopping, working in his bank, and then everything else that came up in his life.

Elizaveta continued to smile and shook her head at him, sitting down next to him and pulling her hand away from his shoulder. "You can't lie to me Basch, I hear it from Lili all the time, you stress over your work, you stress over her, you stress too much, you should relax more," and with that she demonstrated by leaning back against the wall that separated the two of their shooting positions.

Basch sighed and shook his head, and mimicking her didn't help him relax in the least, all it did was give him a bright sun to burn his eyes out. He turned his head back to look at her instead "I've tried to relax, but everything I've tried has just made things worse…" he huffed to himself and closed his eyes, letting his head fall back again as he ran thoughts through his head again, everything that normally cleared his head wasn't working, so he had no idea what to do.

Elizaveta simply looked at him and reached up to lay her hand on his other shoulder this time, rubbing softly and loosening up his muscles. "Well maybe you shouldn't shoot guns to relax all the time, there must be other things that you can do, right?" she asked, glancing over to the other with a smile on her face. She found the way the Swiss constantly worked and then denied the fact he needed a break a bit endearing, especially the way Lili always made him sound like a hero, he was definitely more of one than Alfred.

Basch looked over to her, raising his brows "And what idea do you have in that mind of yours?" he asked, having learnt over the time he'd known her that she always had ideas, especially when he saw that glint of an idea in her eye. So far they'd glued Gilbird to Gilbert's shoulder, put pink hair dye in France's conditioner, and put Roderich's piano on the roof… and he was starting to question whether or not Elizaveta wasn't a bad influence on Lili.

Elizaveta gave a soft laugh into her hand and nodded slightly "Oh, I have an idea, but I'm not sure you'll appreciate my idea this time~" and she winked teasingly to him, bringing both her hands up behind her head and leaning back on them. "Are you sure you want to hear it?" and with that she looked back to the other, waiting for his response like someone might watch a piece of cheese in a mousetrap, just knowing that they would fall for it.

Basch knew that this wasn't something that was going to make him extremely happy, but he knew he had to try something at least. Though he still feared he should tread more carefully as he spoke "No, tell me, what is this idea of yours?" he asked her, now feeling the balance of both his shoulders having been rubbed a little, and he was able to relax at least a bit more. They were lucky they were the only ones there at the moment, normally the shooting range was loud with the sound of bullets and shouting to it'd be impossible to have a conversation.

Elizaveta smiled mischievously as she spoke "You need to get laid Basch," almost too bluntly to be off the top of her head. She closed her eyes, enjoying the awkward silence she had caused, and simply waiting for the other's reaction to her suggestion. It was not untrue, Lili had told her how strange it was that Basch didn't have a woman for himself, so she could only come to the conclusion Basch didn't get laid enough, and that could definitely cause stress.

Basch looked to her indignantly as his face turned a deep red "I-I get laid!" he shouted out, his voice somewhat echoing over the bowl-shaped shooting range. Though once again he was lying, he hadn't sexually touched any woman since France's Christmas party last year when he'd had his drink spiked by the Frenchman himself, which resulted in the pink hair dye. Though he doubted that was the reason he was so stressed out he'd gone long periods of time without sex before, how could this be different?

Elizaveta laughed at the obvious lie and shook her head, teasing him in a sing-song voice "I doubt it~" and then laughing to herself again. "Come on Basch, we both know you have sex about as often as Italy goes without pasta." And with that she looked over to Basch, giggling at the look on his face and shaking his head "You realize I was joking, right? I think you just need to go out and relax, how about I go pay for a nice lunch?" She stood up and brushing her hair behind her ear, offering a hand down to help him up.

The look on Basch's face dropped like an anvil and he groaned at himself for being so gullible, reaching up and taking her hand to help himself to his feet. "Lunch would be nice…" he muttered to himself, and he brushed himself off. They both went about collecting their guns and ammo, storing them away and strapping both of their cases to their backs, and once they'd loaded up the cars, they were off. Nothing particular happened on the car ride, Basch simply followed Elizaveta along the road, he wasn't sure where they were heading though, he hadn't bothered to ask.

Once they arrived they parked next to each other and Basch looked up at the diner, he'd never seen the name before, but it sure smelt good. He looked over to her as she walked inside, beckoning him over toward the door "Come on, and remember, I'm treating you, so you aren't paying for anything," and with that she gave him a soft wink and walked into the restaurant. It was quite nice, it was obviously a sandwich shop where you ordered, found a seat, and then waited for your meal to come up and went to get it yourself.

As he looked around to the tables, most of them had benches that were closed off to each other, but one in the back behind a glass wall stood out to him. It was completely secluded from the others and he wouldn't have random people bothering them or staring at the two of them, considering both of them were countries after all. You tended to get a few looks when you represented a whole nation and you had a habit of shooting anyone who came near you, and smashing heads in with frying pans.

Elizaveta looked to Basch and nodded slightly, gesturing over to the tables "You go pick us a table, I'll order the food, what do you want?" she didn't carry a purse like most girls, she had a wallet like a normal person, which she took out and pulled her credit card out of and looked up at the menu, seeing all the different kinds of sandwiches that were available. She could eat anything up there herself, but she knew Basch would probably like to choose his own meal.

Basch looked up at the menu himself, scratching the back of his head as he nodded quickly to one of them "Ham with Swiss on a toasted Panini Roll," he said, and then he turned toward the table he'd seen earlier, moving over and stepping behind the glass and sitting down at the table, relaxing on the surprisingly comfortable benches, wondering what his sandwich would taste like. Though he did think of how this would relax him in his head. It wasn't like he was getting a massage or anything, this was just a meal, like any other, something told him Elizaveta had something in store for him.

Speaking of which, when she got back she sat down at the table with a drink for each of them, Sunkist orange and cherry coke, leaning forward and setting her elbows on the table, resting her chin on her hands inquisitively. "So tell me Basch, how was Lili doing when you left?" she asked him, they had these little talks now where they would catch up on what they were both up too, and while they were often to the sounds of gunshots, they were also over a cup of hot chocolate or a nice lunch.

Basch took a sip of his soda, letting out a small breath before he responded "She was doing fine, I somehow burnt breakfast so she took matters into her own hands, and then went to her room to take care of her new pet Guinea Pig, I believe I told you she named him Paul for some reason," he smiled to himself in just the slightest, disguising it by taking another sip of his soda. Lili was really cute sometimes, even if they were just a few years apart in human age, she acted like a little girl. He'd walked in on her the other day letting Paul run up and down her arms, chest, and everywhere, giggling her head off.

Elizaveta laughed and nodded "Oh yes, I've received a picture of this amazing Paul already, he's really quite the cutie~" she shook her head and took a short sip of her own soda, setting it down and looking around the restaurant. They weren't alone, but there was hardly anyone there, and if they scooted inside the booth they were practically invisible unless someone actually came up to the table, which they wouldn't. They were either too busy eating food, or on their computers or phones, distracted by technology.

Basch nodded, closing his eyes for a moment before opening them again, it was really something how Lili seemed to be able to raise anyone's spirits, just by naming something. "Yes, and now she carries him around with her all the time," he chuckled and shook his head. "Yesterday she walked into dinner with him sitting on her head, and at one point he crawled down to her shoulder and she gave him a grain of rice to eat."

The two spoke, smiling and laughing at each other's stories and thoughts on Lili as Elizaveta stood up, walking over to get their food. Meanwhile, Basch sat at his seat, relaxing into it as he thought about what she'd said earlier about him needing to get laid. He couldn't help, but let it percolate in his subconscious since she was at least partially right, after thousands of years he needed to at least find someone instead of just letting things happen.

When Elizaveta came back she sat the tray of their sandwiches in front of them, handing Basch his sandwich and taking her own. "Here you are Basch, one ham and cheese on Panini roll," she smiled and took a nice large bite out of her sandwich, letting out a soft sigh at the delicious sandwich she was eating. Then she looked back to Basch, giving him that same glance since they'd gotten to the restaurant, but allowed it to dissipate within moments, just like the other times.

Basch looked to her and nodded "Thank you," and with that he opened his mouth, taking a large bite as he felt the quality meat melt in his mouth, the melted Swiss Cheese complimenting the ham and other such things on the sandwich perfectly. He wasn't a food critic, but this was definitely one damn good sandwich. Once he swallowed he looked back to Elizaveta, and with a serious look in his eye said "This is an incredible sandwich." Though even as he spoke, the stupidest line he ever said rang in his memory.

Elizaveta smiled and nodded "Of course it is, they have the greatest sandwiches," and with that she took another bite. As they ate they continued talking, but much less than before; they moved onto subjects like world affairs, their horses, and so on until Basch and Elizaveta had both finished their sandwiches and they sat there, still talking to one another.

Elizaveta had run out of Coke at this point, but she twirled her straw around in the cup as she talked "Ya know Basch, I may have been kidding earlier, but I wasn't wrong," she said, glancing back up to him, once again with that smile on her face, though this time it remained long enough to be seen. "You really do need to find someone for you." She proceeded to tap her feet under the table, growing slightly anxious in the situation as her mind ran rampant, but she forced her thoughts to calm.

Basch looked away again and nodded "Yes, I know you're right," he said, but then leaned back and shook his head. "But I couldn't find anyone, I'm too busy and to make it worse, any woman who had any interest in me would either not get along with Lili, or have a problem with my marksmanship." He shook his head again, he didn't want to go through the drama like he was on one of America's sitcoms where a woman came in and made life hell for the sweet little girl, or tried to manipulate the man to stop doing what he loved. He wasn't one to be in a TV show, besides, nobody would watch him.

Elizaveta shook her head in disbelief, the density of the male skull could block out so much sometimes. "Well, maybe there is a girl who isn't like that at all," she said. "You still need to look, maybe _open your eyes a little _and you'll see that girl who compliments your lifestyle." She really hoped she didn't have to make it any more obvious and blunt than that, if she did she would have to take this a little farther than she'd planned to right now.

Basch only shook his head again though "I don't think there is…" and he shook his head yet again, Basch was good at many things, but taking a hint was not one of them. He was often too caught up in other details to notice when something obvious was staring him straight in the face, or in Elizaveta's case, staring somewhere else on his body in particular.

So with that she stood from the booth and moved around, going to his side and turning him around, pushing him onto his back and straddling his hips with her knees up on either side of his stomach as she lowered herself to sit on his lap. She then leaned down, pressing her lips to his and whispered against them "You are so dense Basch…" but then she bit his lower lip, pulling it away before letting it go, leaning up to his ear and nibbling on his earlobe softly. "But all of it just made me want you that much more~"


End file.
